Follow the signs, the signs will be your guide.
Listen for the quickening to know when to take action,
Like a puzzle the patterns will emerge,
all things falling into place as they should.

Lesson learned:
Knowing

In knowing creation takes place.

The night before I left Panama City, Sheena and I were sitting in our room having an intense conversation, looking over we saw a huge scorpion covertly making its way across our stone wall.
Sinewy and intense
“What does that represent?”

“Transformation”

I left on a chicken bus with 3 other Americanos from Panama City to Portobello, where we sailed onward from a picturesque bay.

I was synchronistically guided into this experience, after stating that I desired to sail to Colombia.
I dropped my key on the ground of the balcony at Luna’s Castle, while retrieving it, I was asked by a man with a strong english accent
“Would you like to sail to colombia?”
I would, but with different stipulations then paying 450. So, I became the cook, and made all members of the boat my guinea pigs for my cooking.
there were 5 of us on board, 3 americans, the captain, and I, chef Nicole.
We swam, ate, cooked, sailed and jammed out to 60’s, 70’s and 80’s along this 5 day journey, my first experience sailing.
I thought to myself,
here I am, on a ship in the Caribbean, sailing to Colombia.
I almost can’t believe it, along with others prompting and guiding, this has been on accord of co-creating with my inner knowing.

Luna, luna, luna has been my shining light, the signs illuminated with its essence

This passage was light up by the light of the moon, in my goddess compartment at the front of the boat. I slept under the pale, brightness as we made our way across the vast ocean. Nothing in view but the endless 2 mile deep waves that crashed against the boat, lulling everyone on board into a wavering trance-like state.
I sat under this light one night, from horizon to horizon nothing but the ocean, I contemplated the smallness of my existence.
Becoming one with what is.
Going within my own watery depths, it became internalizing and refining time for what lay ahead. Diving into my feminine, more passive and emotionally observant realms.

The moon brought up powerful surges of realization and a new capacity for understanding.
Sitting under it, the ocean sparkling with its light. The swells and waves rolling me side to side, fierce and calming

It made me think of all who have traversed across these seas.

the ocean an entity in and of itself, spoke to me

“So you think you know who you are?
Along this perilous passage, prepare yourself for your greatest adversary

Yourself

I will help you question the very nature of your existence, passion and purpose.
When you look upon me I suck you in deeply, emulate my waveform in your movements, crescending and flowing with life.
Fight me futily, for I will swallow you whole.
And under the moonlight, as you gaze upon me, make no mistake your roots were birthed within me.”

San Blas

San Blas islands were unimaginable, 200 of them, paradise taken to a whole new level.
I kept asking myself, “Am I really here?”
Swimming from the boat to the islands in the clear blue water, time and place stand still.
With the rising and falling sun, days into nights into days, a tranquil, surreal existence becomes the norm.
After two days of not stop swells and waves rolling one side to side while
Sailing, sailing, sailing away.
we arrived in

Cartagena, Colombia

Reminiscent of times past, Cartagena is a gorgeous city with an ancient wall surrounding it, like a fortress protecting the jewel within.
Once inside the old, intimidating walls, the heart of the city lies. One walks in and feels transported into another era, with merchants and fruit carts selling fresh tropical fruits, jewelry, bags, and trinkets of sorts. The smell of sweet bread wafting out of the panaderia invites one in to try the gooey, sweet goodness.
Dancers and drummers perform in the city center, traditional movements speak of fire, passion and energy. Invoking primal memories.
The architecture resembles old European cities, similar to Casco Viejo, but larger, cleaner and more activity.
Out of all the places I have visited I would choose to reside in this city permanently, there is a sense of culture here that is unparalleled from anywhere I have visited.
It is colorful, vibrant and alive with excitement, and colombian passion.

Media Luna was where I was lead to stay (yes, luna again), it was a clean stucco, white spanish style structure, with a pool in the center, surrounded by palm trees and balconies.
It was social time in Cartagena, playing with friends I met in Panama City, others being newbies.
All of whom imparted their unique presence and gifts of self, fun, information, love and happiness. Laughing, light-filled nights and days within this treasured city.
I listened to music on the river, ate at morphing places that went from Colombian by day, and Indian by night.
Went out Colombian style with all the color and passion of this amazing South American city.

And I debated, should I stay or should I go?
My funds have been dipping low, and this is where I have had to know.
I am almost to my goal, my dream, and do I give up and turn away?
No
My sought treasure will be found. Some how, some way, everything will work out perfectly, abundantly and joyously.
In that I have to trust in the invisible and not let anything deter me from my course.

And so, I am where I have set my heart to be since I was 13, and it hasn’t been the easiest route.
Traveling alone has proved to be one of the most rewarding experiences, although at times it scares the hell out of me.
Arriving in this city (it’s a secret), I had an existential breakdown, questioning
Why am I here?
What am I doing?
In those breakdowns an epiphany occurred, reinforcing my purpose, keeping my eye on my treasure.
All I keep hearing in my head is
Let go and KNOW
Know?
And I remember, my heart will always guide me correctly.

 

I realized walking into a yoga class that I would not understand what was being spoken and would have to follow along. I have had to surrender to being a foreigner, at times feeling perpetually blindsided in a foreign city not knowing a single person (until now).
The ego takes quite a good beating in such a state of being.
I like it, it’s humbling.

“Let go of thinking that the world revolves around your expectant American way Nicole, and learn how to revolve around the world.”
I said to myself.

For I am somebody, anybody, everybody and nobody.

xo,
Nicole