No one is flawless, we are not machines, we are organic, living beings with unique idiosyncracies. In flaws a perfection is found, a rhythm that connects us all.
Like the seasons, we all have our deaths and rebirths of self.

To look a pattern as a tool to learn from can leave one empowered, re-patterning is one of the most beautiful processes of transformation.

It is said that the worst will happen before a pattern shifts, weeding the constucts that have created it, a witnessing before release.
If you can’t see patterns and self-actualize, how can you shift and create what is desired?

As humans we are naturally attracted to what is comfortable, an old pattern. When they are overgrown perceptions that no longer hold true, they can be debilitating, like a trap holding us in irrelevant thoughts and feelings.

Perspective comes from emotional, mental and physical contructs of how we have perceived our reality. Our experiences create our perceptions, becoming beliefs of self and world.

We have all done things that are not always representative of what we truly want to do and be, the process of self-actualization is becoming aware of these patterns. When experiences that are not liked happen over and over, it means there is something to acknowledge.
Changing a pattern means altering behavior, thoughts and feelings to suit the vision of what is desired. This can occur by going within and seeing what is behind a pattern. Digging into the deeper thoughts and emotions within self.

Sometimes jugdement of self is greater than judgement of anything.

Blame, shame and guilt go hand in hand, from dogmatic conditioning. Through fear of failure or making a mistake, many overcompensate by finding what is wrong and blaming the outer world. In having to be right a judgement frame of reference is created, inhibiting true freedom.
Holding onto shame, blame and guilt will not lend to transformation.
Many think one perspective and way of being is better than another. This is a lack of empathy for the whole picture. Look at our world, and the many levels this is played out on, from the micro units of family, to the macro of countries and religions.
Having to be right is tied into our competitive drive for success, it can become disempowering because one is right and one is wrong, equating to a feeling of failing.

Am I right? šŸ˜‰

Fear of failure boils down to not wanting to look bad by peer/work/social/family group. Looking bad means making a mistake, being wrong, not feeling accepted for one’s choices, estrangement, rejection, or the root….

Not feeling loved.

Caring what others think is a natural and biological part of being human. It’s a genetic pattern to protect us from being alone, to cooperate in group, healthy to a certain extent. When too much emphasis is placed on caring what others think, the inner world and self confidence can be squelched.
When we expect ourselves, our lives and others to meet expectations and they’re not, the result can be a myriad of negative emotions ie. disappointment, anger, sadness, fear, alienation, etc..

Take disappointment and become empowered. Shift anger into motivation. Take shame and guilt and turn it into objective observation of self.

“OK, I see this, and I wish for something different…..”
Intend it into existence.

Acceptance first has to start within.
Trust and let go of any guilt or shame that you are doing something incorrectly. For you are absolutely perfect right now, in this moment, exactly what is meant to be.


It takes 21 days to change a pattern.

I have seen many of my own patterns surface lately, parts of me that are not always what I like, nor desire. I view these patterns as something to learn through. Life is a choice, to be a victim to self and circumstances, or re-create the shift that is needed. Re-patterning is a part of my self-actualization.

Gathering my energies, I will sit in meditation twice a day. I feel what I wish to shift, appreciate, and surrender any negative thought and emotional pattern surrounding it.

This is a conscious monitoring of everything I think, speak and feel. With effort and patience, I hold my vision firmly, positively, and feel good about life. Not allowing myself to be distracted by what is not working, instead loving what is. Affirmations lend to this, I come up with them as I go along, usually the opposite of what I don’t want.

This is a game I am creating to see what will happen after 21 days. If you wish you can do your own re-patterning with me from home. See what comes up for you, what you wish, visualize and feel it into your life.
You can share if you’d like.




5 thoughts on “Repatterning

  1. YOU’RE GREAT!! Sooo proud of you. The hardest thing is admitting there is a problem, right? Man, is that the truth. But what a release it can feel when you can admit that to yourself, and then to others you trust. Its the beginning of something new! I get tired of doing the same things, reacting the same way, continually doing something I actually don’t want to do. And you’re at the threshold of something new. Be excited about the new things that are coming, that you can even imagine, yet!


  2. Hi Nicole,

    You may or may not remember, but we connected about a year ago at a store in Lincoln Park when you mentioned your blog to me. I read it whenever I get a chance and though so much of what you write resonates with me, I was particularly touched by the “Forgiveness” piece. Forgiveness of myself and others is something I’ve been working on a lot the last couple of years. It is an intense experience, sometimes a little frightening to be so raw, but truly transformative, if we allow it to be. I have definitely not have mastered it in any way, but do recognize that it is a letting go of guilt, resentment, and past experiences that don’t lend to positive growth is a necessary part of understanding Self. So the attempt continues, everyday, a hundred times a day….

    I’d like to share my favorite affirmations that I find helpful in my process:

    “All that has offended me, I forgive. Whatever has made me bitter, resentful, unhappy, I forgive. Within and without, I forgive. Things past, things present, things future, I forgive.

    I forgive everything and everybody who can possibly need forgiveness in my past and present. I forgive positively everyone. I am free and they are free. All things are cleared up between us now and forever.

    I forgive everything, everyone, every experience, every memory of the past or present that needs forgiveness. I forgive positively everyone.God is love and I am forgiven and governed by God’s love alone. God’s love is now adjusting my life. Realizing this, I abide in peace.”


    1. Hi!
      Wow, thank you so much, I am so glad to hear that what I write touches you, that’s part of the purpose : )
      After reading your piece, which I absolutely love, it reminds me yet again how important it is to forgive.
      I think as humans we can get so caught up in our daily lives, in that irritability, anger and impatience can infiltrate our visions of ourselves and others, leading to forgetting what is love and being within the present moment. I know with myself, I am happiest in a clear space, clear of judgement of me and all others, which I believe comes from forgiving and letting go. I am going to use your affirmation piece, it is absolutely beautiful!
      Thank you again so much!



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