Ayahuasca found me, easily.
I knew that the best way to undertake this ceremony would be to go into the jungle, yet that was not to be along this journey.
My inner guidance told me.
“You will come back to the jungle, Nicole.”
Eating lightly the day before and refraining from anything such as caffeine, sugar, condiments or what the medicine does not like, I aptly prepared myself.
I asked the medicine the night before in meditation
“Show me what I need to see in order to more fully live my purpose, which I know to be illuminating myself, others and healing this earth.”
With a friend I had met, I will call him Pato, who was taking part in San Pedro, we departed with the shaman, for our ceremony.
Arriving in this young shaman’s house with his wife, there were animal skins and masks hanging on the walls.
With Pato translating,
“You are so young” we spoke to him.
He replied
“Its better to have a young shaman, sometimes the older ones have taken on many negative energies. There are so many false shamans here for the tourists, who do not understand the medicine. My family is from the jungle, the knowledge of the medicine been passed down our lineage within my tribe for generations.”
He continued
“Most of what you will see, will be an internal journey, this medicine is not so much about the shaman, as it is about your inward learning.”
I drank a small amount of the dark, syrupy, bitter liquid, gagging a bit as it went down.
Breathe.
Ahhhhhh
Awakening itself within me, the medicine was feeling warm and tingly.
The shaman spoke to me,
“We believe this medicine pulls up everything no longer needed in your body; physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally
As it pulls it up, you will become sick,
throw it up.”
As he was speaking this, I could feel a churning in my stomach.
Vomiting is an essential part of this, I felt better immediately.
After he and his wife cleared us with sounds, feathers and tools, he lit a fire in the middle of the room, with the sacred, purifying Palo Santo wood.
He told us to stand and individually jump over this fire 7 times for purification.
The fire was growing and I jumped 7 times, in my altered state, fire licking up to my thighs, I wondered if it was going to eat me alive.
Afterwards I sat with him and he handed me something.
“Young shaman, I am giving you this sacred seed from the jungle, this is given to shaman initiates, you will not find this seed anywhere else in the world.
When you are ready, come to the amazon to study the plant medicine and Shamanism”
Starting the development of my healing abilities years ago, a new initiation was placed in front of me, one that when cultivated will grow into a beautiful tree of being. This is not something that can be learned in a classrom setting, this is intrinsic abilities continuing their evolution.
He spoke to me
“Wear this seed and it will keep you balanced, for you are a karma eater”
I have known this to be true since since I was younger, being empathic, I take on energies from others and release them.
Sitting eyes closed with my seed, the medicine started speaking to me…
“Don’t settle for anything less than what you have come into, my dear.
You have overcome many obstacles in your life, including yourself, and if that is not respected and honored by those surrounding you, surround yourself with only those that do. Give love and focus on you many types of friends, communities, families and loved ones for they will always support you.
Don’t be surprised if people and ideas that are no longer encouraging and supporting your highest purpose fall out of your life, it is no longer for you on your path.
No one but you knows how to achieve your truth, how to live your life, everyone else’s ideas are part of their reality. Create from your knowing, that my dear is true self-sovereignty.
You may play out patterns of who you are no longer, hold fast to the visions you have been given and create from the knowing of your greater purpose. This seed you have been gifted represents your transformation, plant it within your heart, mind and spirit to grow from powerfully.
Push through what ANYONE thinks of you and be unstoppable in your purpose, no need to justify to anyone, be your own resolve .
Share yourself more and strip away all the layers that are blocking you from seeing, it is only you who have been blinded to your true being.
Move forward, even when you want to give up, the challenges are what refine your character, be that center of strength, against all conformity.
Do what you know to be right, against any conditioned mindset.
Know that your are a bright light, even if its not always seen, right and wrong are irrelevant, perception is everything.
Move through the toughest obstacles,
for you will achieve your highest dream,
which is part of the collective dream.”
xo,
Nicole
Purpose and Dream 