After a contemplative, confusing and deliberating search over the past 4 months.
I have come to some conclusions about my life,
as of recently, my main questions have been
WHERE DO I GO?
WHAT DO I DO?
This has been a search that has caused me and many around me much confusion.
After thinking a chosen course was going to be my life, to end up where I started in the beginning, these questions highlight my current existence.
Leading me to dreams and more dreams
I am a visioneer, and my dreaming mind has taken me far and wide recently.
From Australia to study Naturopathy
to Europe teaching english
Toronto or back to San Francisco ( I heart SF)
Wait, I love Chicago too
maybe I should study Ayurvedic medicine and Yoga in India?
A little Thai massage in Thailand????
More recently wanting to volunteer in Costa Rica and Peru
I want to do all of it
patience, I kept telling myself
the answer will come
And what the answer has appeared as, is completely different than what I thought it would be.
It came as a surprise a few days ago.
I had thought I was going to be moving to NYC to start a job that I had received while on a weekend trip. This job is good, and by all logical propriety was a step I should take.
By American societal standards.
work to live, live to work.
A city that I lived in for 5 months last year, a place of excitement, energy, passion, action, determination, culture, culture, culture,
In one of the greatest cities in the world, hands down.
First question to self
What is my vision of success?
Its definitely not working a job every day that pays the bills and keeps me going, maybe working harder and I can be in the middle upper class.
My vision of success is my level of happiness and being lead by my intuitive heart, essentially following my dreams.
Is this my dream, and will I be happy doing this?
I desire to know, without a doubt that I am always making the best choice for myself, not just what is dictated by others, or a success driven society.
The answer was
No, my dreams are much more unconventional
Traveling, writing, dancing, loving, laughing, living, being in the present and whatever it may bring.
Using the world as my school, learning tools that aren’t presented in a classroom setting, nor with a certificate behind my name. Building my life into a space supporting all of my creative endeavors and giving to all who surround me.
Hands on yo
So do I listen to logic, and what is deemed appropriate by a society in its own rigid work schedule?
have I ever ; )
as much as I would like to take this job, it wasn’t feeling right to me.
and these feelings are what I base my life around.
I am following my guidepost, and what life has presented is completely different than what I thought I would be doing.
Like I said, I try to plan, and life itself doesn’t always want to be planned, so I give up trying to dictate what is right, and instead ask to be guided and shown by this force that works through me.
This is the basis for my existence.
Much LOVE to you
I will fill you in tomorrow with where I am, and what has already transpired.
here is to listening to my heart.