My Underworld

A cycle has completed, its finality brings with it complexity and understanding of my dark and light nature. The illustrious owl perched at my side, illuminating shadows to see more clearly.

This time period was a lifetime of its own.

On New Year’s 2007,the Owl appeared, with his yellow, penetrating eyes, beckoning me to view the inner depths I was seeking.
“Be Careful” were his wise words to me as I plunged into the depths of my deep and murky underworld.

Nothing could hide from his intense stare as we traveled the river Styx in search of all the ghosts and demons that were lurking.

This world was fraught with seduction and temptation. A place where phantasmorphic figures rose as distorted illusions that seemed oh, so, real. I would gaze around this illusory world to phantoms represented by societal perceptions as well as my own ideas, ones I held as superficial truths of who and what I was.

No longer

My truths became highlighted as inner workings of subconscious patterns were revealed. Deeply imbedded cycles within me, family and society came to my waking mind. Bringing the information back to the conscious surface, I would then be strengthened with the knowledge of what I had accrued.

“Trust Yourself”

This thought was my anchor, even when I couldn’t fathom understanding it.

Many experiences over these years were bright, light and love-filled, giving me a point of reference to base my truth upon. Receiving glimpses of an enlightened state, I would come back to the reality of patterns instilled within me and humanity. Disheartening and downright suffocating at times, haunting and deliberating moments of facing shadows of myself and others.
Occurrences and people were a mirror to shadows of mine, realized over the past 6 years. My subconscious would attract what I needed to see to be freed of my inner limitations and illusions. Coming up for a breath, I would have complete epiphanies, my world would shift around them to witness the glory of an awareness far beyond my consciousness.
Witnessing the beauty of who I was uncovering; the real me.

The depths while murky held rapture within themselves, a shroud that when the light shone in became illuminated strength.

Giving gratitude the whole time as I knew that when experiencing pain it was my epoch of strengthening.

The owl made its presence known again 3 years later, while I was immersed in a world of soul seeking and a vision quest. It’s wing almost brushing my cheek, I thanked it for showing its presence so visibly. Just when I thought I was complete with this underworld, after a lapse of time I heard the owl whisper in my ear.

“Go Deeper”

Through the years I dove farther into the swampy muck of personal and collective patterns. My purpose to cut free karma from myself and the underbelly of our reality, that which no longer serves me and those surrounding me.
Being sucked into the depths, like a puzzle, I began to make sense of the patterns displayed.


Morphing and shifting, these ghosts of patterns would show up around different turns. Tempting me with their ideas, sucking me into their spheres, giving access to what they deemed important. With the power of who I was, it was my choice to feed them or watch as they vanished from my existence with the upsurge of inner realizations.
My scythe was love, acceptance and surrendering. I would cut them free and remind myself, with the owl perched on my shoulder…..

“Remember who you are, that is your unshakeable force. No matter who or what any person says, you are you and that space will never be forsaken. For that is your individual essence in this multifarious existence”

It was only an illusion.
That is not real,

To me.

As though they never were in the first place, these ghosts of disillusionments caused by conditioning to deep extents would all but vanish from my perception. Like phantoms of the past they became nothing more than distant memories.

Overwhelming at times, with the seductions and temptation of focusing on ideas, emotions, experiences, thoughts and conditions that I knew deep down were not my highest truth.

Ultimately; The illusions of Ego.

The presence of the owl has made itself known again, this time letting me know this cycle is through. Surfacing, I have an understanding of who I am.
My underworld traversed, ghosts released with intentions and motives that mirrored these old parts of me witnessed to their extinction.
I have come out of the other side of Hades, awakened and aware, knowing and clear.

The realization of the illusion has penetrated my waking mind. In that there is a part of me laughing, this game of life has become quite easy.
I know that only empowerment, positivity and love will come from this, with strength, knowing and trust in myself. The ways in which I gave my inner power away into illusions are now in place of inner empowerment, feeding me and those around me with the goodness of life.

For it was my choice what I fed all along.


Joy Freeman

I understand this as part of my Kundalini’s journey.
A process aligning my subconscious, conscious and superconscious.
My filters and experience reconditioned to bring me insight into myself and others. And that to me, is the most enlightened I can become; right now.

All is of my choosing and I take full responsibility for what I think, do, speak and experience. I am no longer victim, martyr, scapegoat or any of the other roles I may have created from these murky patterns that have been freed.

I am at a clear slate, where any and everything can be created. It is up to me what I feed, love and focus on, give to and create.
With consciousness comes the great responsibility to BE, as we were all created to BE.

Over time aware of the awareness behind thinking, the all-pervasive existence that just is.

Questioning from this place when thinking,

Are you fear or love based and do you serve my highest?

This is where questioning the ego comes full circle.

Is it ego questioning ego?

Or is there a higher intelligent consciousness in place?

Yes, the dark will fall, and in its place is illuminated grace.

Whoever said it was a quick process to become awakened to our inner enlightenment?

xo ,


Of course, the detailed experiences will be lit up in my book….. 😉

Kundalini Awakening 2

Kundalini Awakening

“Kundalini is the evolutionary mechanism in man. It is slowly but inexorably leading mankind towards a higher state of consciousness…Kundalini performs no less important a function, not only for the individual but for the whole of the race…It is at work every moment of our lives in building the brain and the nervous system, and it is therefore most necessary for the safety of mankind that some people deeply interested in it arouse this power so that the world might benefit by their experience.”

Kundalini is a life-force of its own intelligence and design. When it becomes awakened it comes with it a great, overwhelming power that clears and re-patterns many systems, mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. It is the internal force in the body to heal itself.

I truly believe that when awakened it naturally starts to re-pattern the DNA. Like Kali, this energy seeks and destroys all that is not in the highest divine alignment of the individual who is awakening. Kundalini allows one to wake up to higher consciousness and potential. It imparts within the ability to look above and beyond, at times superseding duality in our 3d reality.

A radiant, powerful, light-filled energy that is red/orangey/pinkish. When awakened this energy rises up through the channels also known as nadis or meridians, into all the chakras and finally the hypothalamus. Over time filling the entire body with its energy. This awakens and lights up the pineal and pituitary glands while also starting to rewire the whole nervous system.

Kundalini energy sits at the base of the spine like a coiled cobra. It is an inexhaustible life force that has been spoken about in texts from the inception of written word, far beyond any one religion or spiritual practice. Carl Jung and many others have addressed it, referring to it as the superconsciousness.

“The researcher, philosopher-scientist Gopi Krishna, proposes the existence of a region in the human brain, a faculty of supersensory perception normally dormant, which can be awakened to activity by certain practices. Quantum physics has confirmed that the mind of the observer influences what can be observed (see “The Reality Tests,” Seed Magazine, June 4, 2008).

It is the next process within humanity’s evolution.
The energy is said to come from the same energy as our reproductive systems, and when worked properly with another it can build the Kundalini. When working on awakening (enlightenment) it is said to happen through abstaining from sexual contact with another, at first for building it within oneself. This is due to energy rising upward for evolution, downward for reproduction.

“The process of evolution is a continuous one. One cannot say positively at what height man will arrive ultimately, but the next higher stage after human consciousness is a state of higher awareness so extraordinary and blissful that the recipient of this grace is lost in wonder when he or she attains to it. What do you call that consciousness? We can call it superconsciousness, the Turiya state, Nirvana, or even a divine consciousness.”

“Both genius and illumination are the outcome of the activity of Kundalini. When this mighty force enters the conscious centre the individual is then not only illumined but also possesses genius.”

“All spring from the evolutionary impulse in the human body…The goal of all religions is certainly one, and that is to have a higher state of consciousness”

“Great ideas come through individuals, and they can change the world. But an individual is also the product of a group. We lack in great prophets in this age because the society is allotting the place of honour to material progress.”

“The condition of society is the greatest impetus in the production of religious (Kundalini) geniuses. The present world lacks in something that is favourable to the growth of individuals of vision.”

Awakened individuals are like sparks in the collective consciouness, spurring awakening in others. As we are moving into higher brain cognition as a race, we integrate our neo-mammalian brain structure with the awakening of our hypothalamus.
As we all awaken more, it will create a structure for us to move beyond mammalian tendencies. Thus it will raise the consciousness of the lower brain functions to more wholly serve our earth and race.

The energy, when worked upward, is completely mind-blowing. There are many ways to facilitate it. My journey consisted of a 6 year process from recognizing it, to full awakening, to the repatterning of my nervous system. Which has not been the smoothest process.

I could feel my Kundalini the first time when I was 23. Ignoring it for a few of years, I felt it awaken subtly in New Mexico. This consisted of my shadowy patterns surfacing and my lower back was constantly in pain.

From there I resided for a bit in the powerful lands of Hawaii, of the smoldering and alchemical volcanos, metaphorical for the process I was in. I underwent a semi-awakening, that stopped at my throat. Then, a couple of weeks later my Kundalini became fully awakened. This rising happened while I was driving around the big island.

I was consciously breathing deeply when everything went white. Blinded, I had to pull over. My limbs were completely numb with an intense buzzing feeling. I felt the flow travel up into my head, like a circuit as though it went up and out of me.

There was a lapse in time of 20-30 minutes while the powerful and intense energy worked through me. It was blissful, yet overwhelming, like an electrical current running through me. My mind was in an intense hyper-conscious mode, which included incidences with a friend afterwards where all the electricity went out talking about the experience, twice.

It takes a couple of months up to 12 years for a Kundalini awakening to come to full fruition. I still go through rewiring from time to time it comes in waves. My experience with it is not one of a completely disciplined spiritual/monastic life, as what is suggested. At times it has caused mishap when I go too far out of balance.

The purity of everything lends itself to me, I’ve noticed that which is not of my purest source falls away from my life. As it works through me, the intelligence of it wants to experience the life I lead. Through my range of emotions, while building enjoyment, enlightenment, happiness, while creatively expressing through me with music, writing, dance and interaction. A balanced existence of the feminine force of physical with the masculine non-physical.

The ultimate alchemy.

It’s now easier for me to bring the energy up on command and go into the place of whiteness (samadhi), which feels like orgasmic bliss throughout my whole being when I reach it.

I could go on this topic post after post, but instead I’ll let you be guided to your own process and research within it. Below is a breathing practice for you if you’d like, as well as articles I highly suggest.

How is your Kundalini?



Kundalini Breathing

I will give you the breathing exercise, one of the many out there that works for me to get in touch with Kundalini
It consists of visualizing on a deep inhale in your abdomen filling up with light. Either white or the pinkish orange I addressed. On every inhale picture the energy filling with light and on the exhale visualize it starting to rise in two channels like a double helix or figure 8’s through every chakra. Do it slowly as you visualize the energy rising up into your hypothalamus where the energy pours into your Pineal gland. It then pushes upward out of your Crown Chakra Pouring back down the “front channels” up and down the legs and then back again into the “coiled snake”. You can practice this continuously and is a great way to get in touch with your Kundalini.
Hatha Yoga is a gradual way to build it, while Kundalini Yoga builds it much quicker.
The articles below I highly suggest reading if you are interested in more information.

UPDATE as of 2016:

I have found it tremendously difficult releasing some internal blocks and I was recreating unhealthy patterns, which is obviously a part of awakening. Especially in a society that does not promote the type of cultivation and encouragement needed for Kundalini’s awakening process. It has been a challenge at times remembering the power of it and to move beyond what my ego wants into remembering my soul purpose and path. I found instead trying to numb the intensity to fit into a mold that isn’t authentically me, in a world of status quo. Of course, time always allows the energy to transcend any blocks mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually and even I think genetically. Like I said, it hasn’t been the smoothest process, yet I feel so much more aligned with who I am; shadows and light, so as to bring my awareness to its highest state to unlock hidden potential, within myself and others.


I gave part 1 of this article in the last post, which is where quotes above were taken from:


Kundalini Awakening Symptoms

Info on Chakras:

Raging Chakras

More Breathing exercises:


Divine Feminine Christ Consciousness

The Divine Feminine Consciousness is arising again. It is unstoppable in its frequency, growing and beaming onto our planet, its essence is purity. The reverence for it brings wisdom of inner divinity, love and clarity. The Divine Feminine Consciousness is the birthing place for all of creation, it is the breeding ground for all we know and don’t know. A place of love, understanding and compassion to be re-aligned to again, on our planet.

This knowledge can no longer be controlled nor hidden. That which has been controlling knowledge of our individual truth and power shall be relinquished. So that we may collectively awaken to our individual sovereignty and collective continuity.

For thousands of years the controlling powers have been keeping this ancient wisdom and knowledge of the Divine Feminine from us. From Shakti in Hinduism to Sophia in Christianity and Gnosticism to Shekinah in Judiasm. We have been lead surreptitiously into truths that do not honor the divine feminine inwardly and outwardly. This does not mean being a female, it is information and energy that all humans carry the knowledge of deep in our genetic memory.

This energy is coming in waves to our collective, lulling us into a subtle transmutation as it heals. Allowing those who seek to awake from the slumber we have been put under. This flaming light brings with it purification; like a fire to all that no longer serves our species highest divine evolution and design.

Love is the un-mutable force of the Divine Feminine.

It is the time in human history for the merging of the Divine Feminine and Divine Masculine consciousness to unfold. This consciousness shall help seed our race, allowing us to be the guardians and loving caretakers for our planet, people and all species.

We can all open up to the many ways the divine feminine consciousness may flow through. Set the intention to get in touch with it and allow it to subtly move through you, through the top of your head down  into the tips of your toes. Imagine yourself like a tree, growing roots deep into the earth where you soak up the nurturing healing qualities of her and let that flow through you.




Christ consciousness for Christianity and also refers to Kundalini: Christ Consciousness

The Shekinah from Judiasm: Image of the Divine Feminine

The Holy Spirit Feminine Aspect of the Godhead: Holy Spirit/ Shekinah

More I just read about the Divine Feminine energies from a different source:

Divine Feminine

Image above from

Raging Chakras

I started playing with my Chakras when I was 22…..

Falling asleep one night, my hand was irresistibly drawn to my lower abdomen. This area was warm and tingling. Like a vortex sucking me in, it started murmuring of unlocked emotions and memories.
I started moving and spinning this energy center, clearing and invigorating it.

My intrigue awakened.

At this time my belief system was of no desires or cares for anything religious, or spiritually inclined. I had been spiritual when I was younger but was delving into a more atheist belief system at 22. These esoteric beliefs were way to airy-fairy to my overly intellectual mind.

Until this spoken night.

I then started witnessing issues in my life dissolving, amazing occurrences were starting to happen and a whole new world was developing around me.

I thought to myself

“I want to know more about this”

I undertook research probing the depths of the complex and different theories. Here is a tiny synopsis of what I have come to, as with anything I post discern with your own informed deliberation and research.

Energy, Baby:

Chakras are contained in our energy fields, otherwise known as Life-Force, Prana, Chi, Electromagnetic, Aura, Orgone and many other names.
These fields are like a blueprint of energy for individuality. In them are cone -shaped energy center that hold a vibration and color, like a human rainbow, these are the chakras.
An energetic library, they contain every experience, thought, and emotion we have  had, when out of balance they can cause disorders, distortions and disease on many levels.

There are 7 main chakras, and according to varying theories up to 36 more that are within our bodies.

I am going to breakdown the main ones for y’all. ; )

Root Chakra:

Adrenal Gland
Located below the perineum. Related to physical well-being, survival, instincts, primal, earth energies.

Mental and Emotional Issues: Survival, territorialism, wars, violence, oppression.

Physical Issues: Low body disorders. Including hips, legs, immune system, feet and ankle problems.

Ultimate Potential: Self Groundedness

Sacral Chakra:

Located 2-3 in above sacrum. It relates to creativity, sexuality, pleasure and relationships. Our energetic life force and sexual energy, Kundalini, is said to be contained here.

Mental and Emotional Issues: Blame, guilt, control, shame, regrets.

Physical Issues: Any Sacral area disorders. Including male and female sexual organs, sexual dysfunction, reproductive issues, urinary and bladder issues.

Ultimate Potential: Self-Creativity and Healthy Sexuality.

Solar Plexus Chakra:

Located in the solar plexus region, 2 inches above the navel. It is related to personal power, self-control, confidence and courage. Sometimes people refer to a feeling in the pit of their stomach, indicating this chakra.

Mental and Emotional Issues: Low self-esteem, low confidence, indecisiveness, anxiety, nervousness, doubt.

Physical Issues: Any solar plexus area disorders. Including indigestion, digestive problems, ulcers, diaphragm, liver, gall bladder, kidneys.

Ultimate Potential: Self-Empowerment

Heart Chakra:

Green and Pink
Located in the chest It relates to our emotions, love, compassion, empathy and heart. Where the term heartbreak stems from, as love is felt directly through here.

Mental and Emotional Issues: Anger, fear, jealousy, coldness, lack of compassion and empathy, fear and feeling unloved.

Physical Issues: Any heart area disorders. Including heart problems, respiratory, breast problems.

Ultimate Potential: Self-Love

Throat Chakra:

Located in the throat, connected with expression, will, speech, fluent thought, honesty, independence.

Mental and Emotional issues: Criticism, judgement, communication and listening problems.

Physical: Any throat and mouth area disorders. Including addictions, throat cancer, sore throat, neck problems.

Ultimate Potential: Self-Expression and Honesty

Third Eye Chakra:

On forehead, 1 in above bridge between eyebrows. Regulates mental, intellectual and intuitive functions.

Mental and Emotional issues: Concentration, overly rational, over/under intelligence, manipulative, close-mindedness, impatience.

Physical Issues: Any upper mental and brain issues, including depression, sinus problems, migraines, neurological disorders.

Ultimate Potential: Opening to Self-Awareness and Intuitive Capacities

Crown Chakra:

1-3 inches above the top of head, like a crown. Oversees our wisdom and highest mind coming through, said to connect to universal consciousness.

Mental and Emotional Issues: Separation, over-reacting, hopelessness, rigid thinking, over-intellectualizing.

Physical Illness: Paralysis, stroke, skin disorders, multiple sclerosis.

Ultimate Potential: Selflessness and Connectedness

Playing with your Chakras:

Take a pendulum and hold it over one of these centers and see which way it is spinning.
To charge: hold your hand over and spin it clockwise, visualizing white light or the color of the chakra infusing it.
To clear: move hand and energy counter-clockwise, while also scooping up and out. Imagine any emotional patterns, gunk and debris being released into light, happiness and health.
Old memories and pain may surface, let it be, you are healing.

How do your Raging Chakras feel?


Update as per request:

Different schools of thought have different theories on the way each Chakra is supposed to spin correctly. The higher the Chakras on the body, the faster they spin. Some schools of thought propose that they alternate from clockwise to counter-clockwise starting from the Root Chakra. There is also the theory that when healthy they all rotate clockwise at a certain speed.
To open and clear spin counter clockwise, to close spin clockwise.

In my experience I have found with myself and others, that each person will vary. Blocks within the chakras will sometimes be seen with the pendulum as going straight across, diagonally or a lopsided circle, sometimes very slow, sometimes very fast.

You have the key to unlock your Chakra’s secrets.

I believe that intention and the power of the mind is one of the most powerful healers. You can send your own healing energy in with a pendulum or with your hand, infusing as I have mentioned above with visualization. If the ways I have mentioned don’t feel right to you, this is where your intuitive process comes in, you can “speak” to your chakras, feeling into them and allowing them to show/tell you the best way for them to heal. You will come to find an understanding.
There is an innate intelligence behind everything.

If you would like more guidance into working with your Chakras, I can assist you in reading them.

My contact is listed in the Purpose and Dream Creating page at the top.