Breaking My Arm Healed My Nihilism

“You must be ready to burn yourself in your own flame;
how could you rise anew if you have not first become ashes?”

The past few months have felt like a whirlwind of excitement and opportunity, tossing me to and fro. Within the eye of the storm my center has remained. Forever I return to it. Seeking solace in what can feel like madness within matter and existence.

A nagging feeling of Nihilism was underlying my life the past couple of years. The passion and vigor that once drove me to be daring, seemed fading. I was starting to feel that my lofty ambitions were only pipe dreams. Perhaps I was silly to be dreaming so big while the reality was not at all what I had dreamt.


Like a crescendo in a symphony, opportunity permeated my life with deep harmony. Healing to mind and spirit. Helping me to master the outer realms with introspection into the shadows and light of self. As only a great teacher does.
In a way that only true mastery of self-love occurs. This state of mind has taken ahold, possessing all the right ingredients to create a cacophony of chaotic beauty.

And completely shake me out of what I knew things to be.

What is the meaning if one doesn’t dare to dream or take chances?

Or laugh at the expense of self?

I dared again and flew to Los Angeles, on a whim and string of possibilities. To encounter new experiences and a fateful night in which I tripped over a balcony 15 feet onto the cement, breaking my elbow and having a surgery that I quickly am recovered from.

Since then an epiphany has overcome me, thus being; all the mundane complaints that could underly my thoughts are vanishing. I am filled with joy and laughter and a new manner of looking at life. In complete gratitude for being alive, let alone only having a broken elbow. As I keep reiterating to myself, this could’ve been much worse.

I have a renewed sense; an awe for the microcosm in life is resurfacing. I am seeing how much love, abundance and beauty surround me. Not in the future, not as a hope, not in my dreams, but here and now, in my living reality.


Intention: Radiating the love I feel for life and those around me as pure gratitude from my source of living consciousness. Being lead by this heart of mine, guiding and shining through what may feel like chaos into clarity.

Triumphant over tragedy in mind, body and spirit.

As 2013 draws to an end, I savor the moments with family and friends. I am in complete awe of the universe and its manifestations.

I know that 2014 will be a year of action, gratitude and awakening. Sowing the seeds of my dreams that have already been planted, knowing my highest potential is manifesting with gratitude and action.

Any Nihilism becoming Extropianism.

“To love beauty is to see light.”- Victor Hugo



As with all in my life, the details will be explored more in my memoir.
I want to extend a warm thank you for all the help I’ve received from family and friends with this injury. While my independence wants me to do everything myself, there are times when help is necessary and for that I am truly grateful.

Through Space and Time

As my consciousness is a risin’
My modus operandi’s a changin’

To the rhythms and patterns within the fabric of life.

I see my resistances in life as reflections of obstacles I’ve yet to overcome. I am learning to love what I value in life watching it grow more beautiful.

A summer filled with weddings, family and travel.
Including a wedding for my younger sister, in which I was the maid of honor. A trip home that grounded me into the fabric of family, noting where I come from and the beautiful bonds I have with them. It was a dream day to witness, in a happy, beautiful and loving ceremony celebrating two soul mates finding each other.

A gorgeous celebration

Since the question has come up repeatedly about my free-spirited love life. I have deliberated on that question and have come to some inner conclusions.

The past year and a half has been a symbolic weeding of my garden, taking ownership and integrating everything I have experienced, creating resilience and realization of my truth, while honing my adventurous, independent and creative nature.

Knowing that in the right timing everything I dream of will happen, not as a fragmented half, waiting for completion by a relationship. But as a whole being, loving and accepting myself completely attracting the man who is absolutely meant for me.

The whole to my whole.

For now I am so happy, complete and enjoying life from this center of home within.


The elements of fire and water have come into my life recently, repeatedly. There was a moment of watching raindrops falling on the lake, the circles spreading, mesmerizing me into a lull, playing a melody. The patterns resembling the circular movement of life.

As the circles move through my life, I am healing deeply imbedded wounds in the context of what it means being female and the unhealthy conditioning of competition and pretentiousness thetas sometimes presented as the feminine.

It’s not.

I’ve dismantled distorted beliefs from conditioned ideals. Releasing objectification and a shattered version of the feminine. One that reaches down into ancestral patterns of what we’ve been.

As I break through patterns I feel free to have healthy friendships and circles of women. The true backbone of the feminine is being a support system and when healthy it reflects healthy relationships with our male counterparts.

This all has surfaced as surprise features from the mysterious abyss of the divine feminine. That which births creation and cannot be explained nor contained, yet is the intrinsic matrix to life itself.

And the divine masculine the action principle; without action being is futile. The great force of physical everyhthing-ness that propels our universe, keeping the harmonious balance.

Source in all facets and names, all that is all things.

As I’ve yet again moved to a new space, new place I know that no space, no place outside of myself is home. For my temple resides within. Illumination of this inner sanctum is my natural essence, a foundation in the inner allows for divine reflection of the outer.

Through Space and Time



Signs and Symptoms of Awakened Twin Flames

Dream, Play, Laugh and Create

Be who YOU are, not who the WORLD wants you to be.
And for a rundown of my lowdown let me debrief.

Over the past few months I’ve been intro-, extro-, retro- reflective, respectively. Physically and mentally asserting passages to create a new learning curve for myself, which I’ll elaborate on in a future post. This has caused many breakthroughs about the woman I am, the girl I was and still love, most importantly what I’m creating myself to be.

Fortified with the realization that this is on rise of building a new model of definition of success for myself.

Right now, I feel supported to create a world around me that reflects my inner vision of what I wish to see. To me this means remembering not to take life so seriously and sticking up for what I believe in a way that creates fun, excitement and ease.

Growing up in the most youthful way with structured spontaneity spontaneously structuring. I’m reflecting on the emergence of an excitement that seemed fleeting, evading me since I’d been so heady with thoughts and caring about frivolity that doesn’t have as much meaning now.

I have undertaken redefining success for my life and have come to the conclusion that success without love, passion, excitement and fun is not success to me. The modern model of success is missing heart and the ability to have youthful expression of silliness, innocence and spontaneity. I don’t buy into it and actually think it feels antiquated.

I have been inspired and challenged to push through my blockades in ways I’ve never faced before, connecting to parts of myself that have lain dormant until recently.
I contribute much of this growth to being pushed out of my comfort zone into movement and action and most importantly being surrounded by a loving family and community that is an inspirational structure to create my life into being.

So let me present you with thoughts I’ve pondered.

The societal expectations from childhood and up build into this thing called becoming an “adult”. Which in our current world can be so serious and dry at times.
As we age we enter established structures of education and peer groups. In them we’re conditioned to restructure our expressions, quieting them, turning off the imagination in place of distraction and attainment, shutting down our child’s mind. Devoid of the playfulness and dreamlands that captures childlike innocence it can feel like we’re working within a huge machine of a system. A life of doing what is needed from society in place of reference to who and what we are, or to be, within the hierarchy.

Ok, understood, I get it. The structure has value and I applaud it for the many years it has provided comfort and security for those whom it has. Yet, I truly believe a new structure is coming into place, one written by our future and not our past. To me climbing for capital gain and attainment, with the goal to hopefully capture the childlike excitement again is a paradoxical, boring cycle
With so much value placed on attaining and gaining I pose the question again, where is true happiness found?

Mine is in expression of loving life, who I am and those around me, excitedly. With comforts being met, it’s also important to me to be a caring, loving person to those around me. Manifesting beauty, harmony and joy on the physical plane.


Dreaming and Playing:

In becoming an adult I think the most important aspect to remember is our inner child and nurture it into play again.
Underneath the aging that has occurred a part of that child is within us all. In fantastical places creating worlds upon worlds of imaginative dreamlands.

And why not?

Quintessentially the inner artist is an aspect of the inner child.
Let go of the expectations of your adult life for a moment and think about what you wanted to be as a child, is that still a part of your living dream?

The heart resides in innocence and fun.
While I’m an adult, I’ve also learned to nurture my inner child, lending to me tremendously through transformative periods. I strive to be in laughter and wonder when setbacks come up.
Coming into the excitement and playfulness with children, like a child, is where living takes on a new experience. Loving life is innocent, in the moment, present and aware with just being and experiencing what is, here and now.
Children in their dreamlands and imaginations don’t care about judgement, they imagine and create.
Hearing children laugh and play liberates my inner child to let go of the dry conditions of what can become my adult world. Promoting learning, creativity, playing, singing, dancing, being silly and inquisitive to a world that I see with child’s eyes that were asleep for some time.

My request from you is to let your inner child out, it will cause youthful expression.
Do what it is that brings up the exuberance you know yourself to be childlike with. Have fun with life in a way that inspires your youthful heart’s desire. Play on the swings, skip, laugh, be playful, create, paint, dance, make up imaginary worlds free of judgement that infiltrates adult living. If people take you seriously than that’s their issue, not yours. There is nothing wrong with being a creative mindscape to imagine from, the imagination at work is beyond comprehension of realms we live in.

Where do you think our most creative pieces and brilliant inventions came from?

Where is your inner child now?


Fluid to Make Waves


And the water was where I was standing, in a river where two diverging paths became one. Bubbling and flowing around me, I let go of everything I was holding onto into this healing place and a peace enfolded me.
I was reminded that many paths lead to the source, whatever that Source may be, separate paths converge to diverge again, naturally.
After being so much like air and earth lately, I am reminded to become more fluid again like this powerful flowing river.

I fill myself with the essence of what is the surrounding environment. The trees and plants nourished by the water that flows fluidly, moving over the rocks and earth that become eroded by continual movement. The wood, trees and plants providing home and food for the animals and insects to survive upon. My totem hawk flying above representing my free spirit, in the air that gives breath to life, with the fiery Sun beaming down.

All elements are needed to sustain an ecosystem. As a small piece of the whole, becoming one with the environment, whatever it may be, brings clarity and purity.

As I’m meditating in the tranquility, I remember that becoming like water means letting go of attachment to desires, wants, needs, possibilities and outcomes to allow the flow to lead me where I’m meant to go. Flowing around obstacles fluidly creates peace of mind. Rather than resisting or turning away, which feeds energy to what’s not working, I choose to see life for how it exists right now.

Going through my Saturn return over the past year and a half have been what I would call a shift in the way I perceive my outer world. Rather than “trying” , which is a futile term, to manifest all of my separate visions and dreams into existence, I am learning to create by simply being.
My inner world has been fortified with truth, which becomes fluid as I evolve more fully into the potential that exists. I realize with new inward learning that it’s not about my belief in my dreams and goals or the outer reality, it’s my belief in myself.

I fully believe in me.

A deep truth, overlaid by the deeper truth derived from all the inner work I’ve done over the years. One that is unshakeable in its very core.

That truth is

I accept and love what is, life, living, being…….

Like the many states of water, I may continually shift, evolve and change, yet, my essence will always remain the same. Understood by the outer world or not. No thing, no one, no experience will ever shake it, it’s found outside all ego attachment and identity defined through outer means. It is a presence within that is continually unfolding like a lotus blossoming. As this never-ending flower of self unfurls gorgeous petals, I reinforce my truth …

I love my life, it’s perfect right now and continually blows my mind with organic beauty that is a flow. Exploring this creation I have…. being, here, now, continuously with gratitude for living. The same source of consciousness that resides in me resides in everything.



Related Articles:

Bone Deep Weary (
The Flow, yo
Animus Totem
Are we adding some much-needed sanity to the world? (
Creative Mind (
Judge Not Others (

The Judge

I sit here, thinking and contemplating, allowing my mind to wander and analyze as it can tend to, and I think to myself…

How much

I think….

I then take a moment, becoming the observer to my thoughts allowing the superconsciousness to come through, remembering to
let go of thinking so much.

It has no meaning if it creates an analysis paralysis. This is where our beautiful brains create barriers from truly witnessing our experience in the moment from a place of acceptance. A filter placed around reality by this thing called our ego and conditioning, which is judgement for self and others.

These judgements are our conditioning. Functions formed from birth onwards as we learn ways to comprehend and be in our world that is already set up by structures in place. Created by the brains of our ancestors dating back through our genetic encoding.

Perception is based around these judgements, which are categorizations, labels, materials, senses, schools of thought, religions, races, creeds, ideas and much else. All compartments of the brain’s ability to filter through our perception and show us what has already been preconditioned by our subconscious. We are all receiving different feedbacks from our brain and conditions already in place. Which lets us understand the small faculty of what is really going in our sensory experience.

There is so much that our brain is constantly taking in, we only receive a small percentage of it consciously, that which we already have set up as belief structures.

While this serves us, it is also quite a detriment as our inner judge. This judge of our mind tells us what is good/bad right/wrong, proper/improper, acceptable/not acceptable by our standards and those of the society we are a part of.

Our judgements will vary, and are changing as we do, also being negatively or positively tipped

one person could state

those leaves are beautiful

another might say about the same leaves

look at how they’re dying

Glass half empty or full, neither is right or wrong, it’s judging based on conditioning and perception.

This is where discernment takes place, what feels right?

Someone tells you something that they’ve experienced, do you take their word or find out for yourself?

Is something done because it is status quo?

Status quo is constantly changing. What I thought I’ve known has drastically changed through time.
Evolution, correct?

Conscious REvolution

It’s easy to think that we know others and our world fully. We don’t, we can’t possibly with the small percentage that our neurological function allows us to experience from our limited perception. What our impression of others and our world are, is not all it is, only what and who they are to us in our perception of here and now.

Thus can sometimes the challenge of humanity, the misunderstanding and lack of empathy.


We are all connected to the superconsciousness*, like the huge brain connecting all of our little brains together. In individuality lies our similarity to being human. Let your imagination come into play. The part of brain that lets the mind wander into fanciful dreamland and artistic endeavors, bringing ideas and concepts through from faculties that are not always what are perceived physically.



related interesting articles:

The Brain, it makes you think

*Superconscious mind

We do not see with our eyes we see with our brains

are you living in a computer simulation?

Can we have a little humor

Underground Waking Dream

Where does dreaming end and living begin?

What is the imagination’s purpose, is it to create or dream awake?

Visions of my ideal future surround me, as the dreamer I am, yet I feel disheartened when they don’t come to fruition.
I lose my trust in myself and ability to create, and it triggers a thought of, perhaps I don’t deserve what I am dreaming.

And that is simply preposterous.

The truth is, we live in a world where we have to give into the system. One that can sometimes damper even comprehending dreams.
Think about this deeply.

We are entrenched in a paradigm that serves money.

Does that create happiness?
Where does happiness stem from?

If one doesn’t feel good about themselves, nor know who they are deep down, all the money in the world will not save them.


Here is where the balance of the physical and non-physical must occur. We live in a physical reality, one that puts material abundance highly. Materialism can create beauty, but when it serves that which does not know itself, what’s the point?

Money nor a degree do not create character and wisdom…

Life and achievement of one’s passions, knowledge lived and dreams does, through the up and downs of the dualistic nature of our universe and what is known as a human life.

What is truly important?


Which brings me to the idea of supporting the arts. For without true creativity our world would be devoid of aesthetic beauty, meaning visual, audio, sensory, tactile, design, writing, and everything that we base our aesthetic pleasures upon.

The artists are where our world finds solace in appreciating creativity, right?

It would be my ideal, as I’m sure many other artists to follow our creative impulses, feeling we could indulge in them while make a fantastic living off of them.

Sometimes, when us underground artists grow into the above ground, into the eyes of the many, people wonder…

Where were you hiding?

Working within an establishment that supports that which will make money, all the while the genius minds that create new paradigms can be cast aside.

To what?
Work for something that does not support dreams.

I will make my Underground Waking Dream happen, with or without support from anybody. With passion, conviction and love in my heart for the path I am walking.

By supporting the many facets of local talent and arts, not just what is pop and uber-popular, creativity is honored and appreciated and brought into the forefront of our culture.

Without dancers and listeners where would musicians be?

Without readers where would writers be?

Without patrons of the arts, artists can become disheartened, losing their drive to bring forth fresh talents. Which becomes unfortunate for the masses, for there are brilliant minds that could be forsaken if not properly supported by our establishment.

Don’t you see, the underground are the roots to where the above ground’s blooms sprout from..


What would you do if you felt supported to live and become your dream?



Genetic REvolution

While I was contemplating our DNA structure, a vision came to me. In this vision I watched amoebas turned plants, plants turned fish and fish started crawling out of the sea. As the development occurred I saw reptilians walking into animals and finally humans were born.
The notion came to me, somewhere within the evolution of Earth’s creatures and DNA something evolved as well as went astray.

This is a idea that I am presenting, one that may seem very far off, yet rings close to home.

Think about the evolution of earth and how things arose from amoebas to what we are now as the highest cognitively functioning species. Could it not be said that perhaps within our evolution a mutation occurred very far back?
That we are a product of a mutated genetic inheritance?

Could it be that our lower emotions ie. rage, aggressiveness, fear, paranoia, anger, misanthropy, negativity, hiding, domination, lying, aggravation, frustration, irritation and more are variations of this mutation?

I think fear is a genetic mutation within the DNA of our species and other species.
It first occurred within the evolution of some fish (think piranhas) becoming parasitic and vampiric in nature.
I believe this mutation is like a virus and spread and has consciousness in and of itself. That it becomes more intelligent to keep thriving, many strains have developed from it.
This mutation comes in displays of domination, control and fear evolving as life did on our planet. Part of this is understood by our reptilian lower brain also known as the Paleo Mammalian brain, which we all contain in the Basal Ganglia region of our brains.

I understand there must be a balance of keeping our ecosystem in harmony with carnivorous forms through fear, yet, we are not in harmony with our planet, if anything we are the parasites upon it.

Seemingly inherent within our biological nature, the domination factor that perpetuates fear also resembles the animal kingdom.

A hierarchy.

This factor keeps us cycling through collective patterns over and over, reinstating the paradigm we’ve been in. These mentalities keep us separated from our neighbors, other species, nature, plants and animals, viewing everything as a possible threat or enemy.

I ask if any of this has shown up in your life experiences?

Furthermore, is it our responsibility to raise the consciousness of these lower vibrations within us and the world ?

Think about the viruses that have seeped into our species, do we perpetuate viral consciousness by feeding into these thoughtforms?

Is it for us to acknowledge that many of these thought-forms have shown up as ailments and viral thinking within our collective consciousness, could they be representations of ailing unconscious patterns that we are just ignoring or “band-aiding”?

I think cancer and other diseases are collective unconscious patterns we are collectively not addressing.

I believe in the future, the evolution of our species will evolve far beyond a point of needing medications or vaccines, and that we will heal these viral thought forms with the power of individual and collective mind. I believe we have the capacity to heal our body and beings completely, it is a dormant power.

In order for that to occur, we have to first acknowledge our somewhat parasitic nature upon our planet and accept it for what it is. That means taking responsibility.
Once we take responsibility for what we have incurred, we can then take the steps to correct and transcend our collective actions.

As we do so we move from a dominated hierarchical structure into a balanced ecosystem with a more harmonious consciousness that gives and takes. It is up to us to be the loving caretakers of Earth and all her species.

I believe this REvolution links directly with the formation of the EGO.
Individual and collective EGO is moving into amore unified collective consciousness as it evolves.

This evolution is awakening us to our individual power and potential, to then raise and connect to the greater collective mind and consciousness. As we work it together, we expand more in our capabilities and understanding.

It’s in my opinion that what is proposed as junk DNA is actually intelligent, higher realms of possibility within our species. Which includes the inception of language and words to vibrationally create our reality. “It is in fact a holographic, fractal bio-computer of mind-boggling capability”.

Could it be that the Kundalini, Shakti, feminine divine consciousness is the key to awakening our DNA and evolving quicker?

That a part of our DNA contains a consciousness that is awakening the remembrance of our inter-connected nature to our genetic structure; including all on our planet and universal matter?
I truly believe it is the inner power contained within all to become the greater race we are meant to;

Real Re(Evolution)

I ask you to think about what I have theorized, after all, that’s all this is, is a thought put into logos.

How awakened are you to your DNA?


I highly suggest you read the first part of a two article series in the link below about Kundalini. I will get into Kundalini in more detail in the next post as well as my own personal experience awakening to it, while giving ideas to start working it within yourself.

This will be a 3 part post.

Elucidation of the global human evolution of consciousness by Gopi Krishna(pt 1 of 2)~ Aaron Asphar

Article explaining the virus scientists have discovered in our DNA structure:

Ancient Virus thrives in DNA

Great article on evolution of DNA where quote above was derived from:

Post I did that ties into this
Divine Feminine Christ Consciousness

Divine Feminine Christ Consciousness

The Divine Feminine Consciousness is arising again. It is unstoppable in its frequency, growing and beaming onto our planet, its essence is purity. The reverence for it brings wisdom of inner divinity, love and clarity. The Divine Feminine Consciousness is the birthing place for all of creation, it is the breeding ground for all we know and don’t know. A place of love, understanding and compassion to be re-aligned to again, on our planet.

This knowledge can no longer be controlled nor hidden. That which has been controlling knowledge of our individual truth and power shall be relinquished. So that we may collectively awaken to our individual sovereignty and collective continuity.

For thousands of years the controlling powers have been keeping this ancient wisdom and knowledge of the Divine Feminine from us. From Shakti in Hinduism to Sophia in Christianity and Gnosticism to Shekinah in Judiasm. We have been lead surreptitiously into truths that do not honor the divine feminine inwardly and outwardly. This does not mean being a female, it is information and energy that all humans carry the knowledge of deep in our genetic memory.

This energy is coming in waves to our collective, lulling us into a subtle transmutation as it heals. Allowing those who seek to awake from the slumber we have been put under. This flaming light brings with it purification; like a fire to all that no longer serves our species highest divine evolution and design.

Love is the un-mutable force of the Divine Feminine.

It is the time in human history for the merging of the Divine Feminine and Divine Masculine consciousness to unfold. This consciousness shall help seed our race, allowing us to be the guardians and loving caretakers for our planet, people and all species.

We can all open up to the many ways the divine feminine consciousness may flow through. Set the intention to get in touch with it and allow it to subtly move through you, through the top of your head down  into the tips of your toes. Imagine yourself like a tree, growing roots deep into the earth where you soak up the nurturing healing qualities of her and let that flow through you.




Christ consciousness for Christianity and also refers to Kundalini: Christ Consciousness

The Shekinah from Judiasm: Image of the Divine Feminine

The Holy Spirit Feminine Aspect of the Godhead: Holy Spirit/ Shekinah

More I just read about the Divine Feminine energies from a different source:

Divine Feminine

Image above from

Express Yourself

As I read the article I have a link to below, about 90 Iraqi students being stoned to death for their expression, my heart hurts. It pangs me in a way of sadness and realization that basic human liberties are constantly at stake in our world. As far as we have come up the evolutionary ladder, there are atrocities that occur that face us all with our primal, controlled and conditioned natures.

This is not just “over there”, albeit different, it’s very present “over here”.

Many major religions state that there are certain ways that are accepted and others that are not. I understand the guidance point of not hurting another and living a life that helps others. Yet, how can it be that there are billions of variations of humans and only one way of worship is accepted by God/ Allah/Jesus/Jehovah whatever you want to name the force of the universe?

If we were all meant to think and be one way, wouldn’t this God just make us all the same?
God is not conditional, humans are.
There is the question of free will I’d like to pose….
Is there free will or is our will based upon an integral nature created from biology, sociology, psychology, genetics and education?

It’s easy to judge those who are different. As humans we have all felt that type of rejection at some point in our lives, while casting that judgement upon another at some point as well.

This rejection, or rather avoidance of rejection is what causes mass conformity. By feeling that we have to be/act/speak a certain way to feel accepted and liked.

Who doesn’t want to be accepted and liked?

Can we guide one another more lovingly into a mindset that empowers us all?

With this underlying biological and psychological need to feel accepted as part of the group, expression can become what one thinks will be accepted, in the process one’s free expression can become curtailed.


We are all expected to be a part of a box on some level, to take part within group thinking. These boxes can be seen according to gender, religion, culture, class, age, race, profession, etc. and are deemed by what is socially accepted and what’s not. When what’s not accepted occurs, labels are placed to then categorize into yet again another box, or outside the box.

A paradox.

How come ideas, thoughts, actions that are not part of mainstream are sometimes rejected and boxed out, to then be accepted in the future?

I am not one thing, nor can my beingness be explained by any one categorization, can yours?

If we let other’s judgement infiltrate our existence, we’ll never feel free to

express ourselves

Free expression is essentially creativity and imagination at work. In an ideal society, judgement of free expression would be obsolete if not harming anybody.
Acceptance of another’s expression negates control, fear of differences, group conformity, gossip and negative backlash. Which is what we sometimes witness when one is different or challenging traditions and the system.

When we think about those who have challenged throughout the millenias from Jesus to Aristotle, Plato, to Newton, Tesla and Einstein, can it not be said that our race has benefitted from questioning and expressing outside the norm?
Do you think technology would be available if we all thought and acted the same?

Break out of your box : )
In connecting with another’s expression and perception we learn. If your expression is outside of the norm, who cares?
It may inspire another to express a part of themselves that was previously hidden.
Express Yourself, whatever it may be, I accept you.

What is your free expression?



90 Students in Iraq Stoned


Knowing something beyond the existing life I was living was to be experienced, I left an old life behind, to wander and seek out my inner vision. I was led through different terrains, to the extremes and back again. The desert heat and dryness wrung out inner demons, the mountains called into the quiet of my being. The ocean strengthened and purified, the fires of lava lit up the flames of creativity and desire. Lastly, the jungle and forest whispered to me of sacred sensuality.

Visions of my truth revealed through a quest of visioning.

“The visionquest, or perceiving quest is the way we must begin this search. We must all follow our VisionQuest to discover ourselves, to learn how we perceive of ourselves, and to find our relationship to the world around us” ~ Hyemeyohsts Storm

In Native American and other indigenous cultures a visionquest is a right of passage, marking a turning point in life. A traditional quest is done for three days, while fasting, consisting of venturing alone into the wilderness. As deep internalizing occurs, a vision may come to the seeker.

The quester is able to reach parts of the mind and spirit concealed by everyday living. In a state of purification, left with the devices of nature, this vision reflects the seeker’s true calling. The seeker is in a state of high consciousness, lending to a more enlightened state. An animal totem may appear as a guide, lending it’s magical traits to the quester.

“In many traditional cultures and spiritual paths, such a glimpse is called a vision, a soul calling, or the intuition of destiny — which never arrives in cultural terms, such as a job or social role, but rather embodied in mysterious, usually nature-based symbols, themes, or patterns.” ~ Bill Plotkin

In his book “Nature and The Human Soul” Psychologist Bill Plotkin breaks down life cycles according to a Jungian, nature-based model of existence that reflects the Native American medicine wheel. This is separated into 8 phases, healthily allowing one to become a true elder. He theorizes that people in Western civilization are stuck in patho-adolescent phases, that in our materialistic world, even as adults, most are not connected to their true natures. This is in part due to not having healthy and celebratory rites of passage, nor being in touch enough with the elements. He proposes that a part of becoming a healthy, functioning adult is seeking mind-expanding sources. Western civilization craves and seeks out these sources subconsciously, in sometimes unhealthy ways.

If one can’t face the unknown by bravely heeding the call, how can it be to consciously evolve?

As humanity and technology progress, teachings within dance, music, trances, plant medicine, sweat lodges, nature and visions can aid us in unlocking the keys to our evolution.
Leaving all expectations behind, when done with conscious intention, these techniques help the ego transform. Intense breakthroughs in consciousness can occur, sealing in the purpose of self with glimpses of one’s highest purpose.

Visions are waiting to be revealed in each and every one of us, what quest will it take for you to perceive yours?

aho mitakuye oyasin,


Check out Visionquest on Beatport
Article by Bill Plotkin
Post on Animal Totems
I highly recommend Nature and The Human Soul