Empathic Repatterning

Re-Patterning takes the form of releasing the shadows of self, so that the light can shine through. Opening up a can of caterpillars so that they can transform into butterflies. I believe this is one of the greatest dis-ease antidotes, as the physical body is the last place illness manifests. Studies show that re-patterning can actually shift DNA. I wish to share a snippet of my process through it with you.
While I try to refrain from labeling, for I am much more than any label, I call myself an empath, for you to gain more understanding of what I am explaining.

My body always lets me know everything that is going on, it never lies to me and I trust it explicitly. My body lets me know through intuitive feelings what is best for me, these feelings also let me know when things are positive or negative for the future or beyond. I know from my experience that my thoughts have their own frequency and resonate at different levels. Being empathic, I am able to feel exactly where my body holds every thought and feeling. The positive ones feel light and expansive, the negative ones feel like pin pricks or bullets. I don’t always understand all my empathic responses, I only know when they are released I feel amazing. When I have worked through a pattern, there is a clear feeling in my heart, stomach, back, neck or wherever I was having empathic residue.
Many of the feelings in my body are not necessarily mine, as an Empath, I take on for others what they wish to heal and sometimes cannot do themselves. Also called a lightworker, I take other’s hurt, fear, anger, insecurity, agony on to be transmuted. Without the proper release these wounds (Ment. Phys. Emot. Spir.) of others sometimes become lodged patterns within me.

My re-patterning process entails sitting in meditation. I then focus on any negative thoughts or feelings in my body and listen closely. Then something will surface, almost as though a whisper. Instead of shrugging off what I hear, which my ego wants to do, I let it come up and be heard. I will receive a memory or flash of understanding tied to a feeling and pattern of energy. Sometimes when the feeling is mine, it’s a limiting thought pattern, a belief I had held onto about myself or the world, such as “I don’t know how” or ” I don’t care”. While my conscious mind does not believe what is presented, my subconscious mind may be manifesting situations based upon these old belief patterns. After acknowledging and feeling these patterns of mine and sometimes others, I then accept, embrace and surrender them to the moment. Like little bubbles, these patterns expand and pop into the quantum field of awareness. When it is someone else’s energy lodged within me, I’ll usually get a glimpse of that person, hear their voice, or feel their presence as I release their energy. There have been times, before I knew that I was an empath that I would get very sick and not know how to release the energy. Knowledge of energetic frequencies and my own personal boundaries has allowed me to stay grounded and learn how to process for the benefit of me and the person I’m healing

I then go within and re-pattern with a belief I hold true for myself, or send love and light to it, if it is for someone else. This process includes monitoring of my thoughts and emotions, to constantly reinstate an evolving belief system.


After re-patterning I am in a place of higher consciousness, with awareness of the interconnectedness of everything. It’s in this place that my ego dissolves and I remember all the triviality that can seem important DOES NOT MATTER.
Stillness, silence, reflection;
Space and time slip away into a place of non-duality, where positive and negative become non-existent.
Everything just is.
Awareness behind awareness, I am a little speck glimpsing it.

All that exists is knowing, a knowing far beyond me, yet a part of me. A place of infinite love and intelligence, which is where I find my Divinity.

Attaining a broader perspective within this consciousness is what drives me to be. It takes for me to remember and bring this awareness into every aspect of my life, I aim to see it reflected in every part of every moment.
The glimpse of it can almost always be seen.

There are many ways to attain this state, every religion, philosophical and spiritual discipline have their forms, the techniques may be different, yet the place of existence remains the same. In the many attempts to gain higher consciousness the one truth is, only within is where it is found.

I am who I am constantly creating myself to be.




For more about being empathic, especially if you may be an Indigo/Crystal or Starchild (you know who you are), here are more posts about this:

Vibing with an Empath
Intuitive Opening

DNA and Epigenetics


After months of feeling confused and unsure of my choices and path, like a veil lifting from my perception, a sense of clarity, positivity and happiness has encompassed me this past week.

I forgive, yes, forgive myself and others for any transgressions. Realizing that all is part of my learning.

and then let go,


Little resentment balloons pop and I come to ease and peace within, forgiveness is the ultimate emotional cleanser.

A part of Self-love is forgiveness, for self and others.

In holding resentment, one can be held back from the present and truly living. Resisting is futile, what is, is. Forgiveness for self and others is the key to acceptance for life and whatever it may bring. Transformation comes from acceptance, which sometimes takes forgiveness.

Harboring negative emotions about self and others breeds unhealthy thoughts and feelings, essentially hurting self.
We have all made what seem like mistakes, yet, they are only transgressions teaching us.
When one is hurt, it’s easy to hold onto pain. To self-protect a wall can go up, which locks into negative feelings. Shame, regret, anger, hatred, blame, inferiority, superiority and guilt are like blinders to self-love.

I understand, as a human, it can be much easier to stay upset in a hurtful situation and end up playing the martyr or victim. In doing so, one thinks to themselves.. “If I stay upset about this, I won’t get hurt again in the same way”. In actuality, when we stay upset it creates subconscious patterns that lock in on being upset. Therefore, it becomes much easier to manifest situations that create the SAME UPSET, again and again…. hence….

Blocking access to love.

Resentment and anger justify being upset and caught in a “story”. I say story because we create stories with our perceptions, everyone has a different side.
Over time resentment festers and grows into ugly, nasty wounds that can take up inner peace, tranquility, ease and happiness, also causing unhealthy mental and emotional patterns about perceived “story”.
We don’t ever fully know what another person has gone through and why they do what they do, until we walk in their shoes, which is an impossible technology thus far, all we can do is empathize.

Rather that hold onto the hurt or upset, letting go, by forgiving is the most liberating feeling one can incur through trauma and hurt.

There is the thought that “If I forgive, it’s a sign of weakness.”
Quite the contrary, forgiveness is a sign of the absolute strongest, a sign of resilience and the practice of a master.

Have you ever hurt someone?
Have you ever been hurt by someone?

Do you have the inner resilience to let that go?

Forgive yourself
Forgive others…

And come into Empowerment.


Forgiveness Meditation

Taught by Marianne Williamson.

Sit quietly with yourself, breathing in light and love and on the exhale all negativity.
Envision you and the person you wish to forgive or ask forgiveness from.
Allow whatever emotions come up to surface, until you feel and understand your pain, or theirs.
Then see white light surrounding yourself and the person/people.
As you stand or sit connect a light to one another’s heart and visualize your individual lights growing to envelop one another, spreading farther in peace.
Speak, think, feel whatever you need to in order to come to clarity and happiness, letting go of any old stories or upset. If you can, thank the individual for being a part of your experience.
Envision whatever you may believe in surrounding the person in a love and light “temple” as you depart from one another.
Whenever you think of the person in painful thoughts or emotions, visualize this temple of light taking it all away into the forgiveness that you just created.

If you feel it is necessary, you can do more than once.




No one is flawless, we are not machines, we are organic, living beings with unique idiosyncracies. In flaws a perfection is found, a rhythm that connects us all.
Like the seasons, we all have our deaths and rebirths of self.

To look a pattern as a tool to learn from can leave one empowered, re-patterning is one of the most beautiful processes of transformation.

It is said that the worst will happen before a pattern shifts, weeding the constucts that have created it, a witnessing before release.
If you can’t see patterns and self-actualize, how can you shift and create what is desired?

As humans we are naturally attracted to what is comfortable, an old pattern. When they are overgrown perceptions that no longer hold true, they can be debilitating, like a trap holding us in irrelevant thoughts and feelings.

Perspective comes from emotional, mental and physical contructs of how we have perceived our reality. Our experiences create our perceptions, becoming beliefs of self and world.

We have all done things that are not always representative of what we truly want to do and be, the process of self-actualization is becoming aware of these patterns. When experiences that are not liked happen over and over, it means there is something to acknowledge.
Changing a pattern means altering behavior, thoughts and feelings to suit the vision of what is desired. This can occur by going within and seeing what is behind a pattern. Digging into the deeper thoughts and emotions within self.

Sometimes jugdement of self is greater than judgement of anything.

Blame, shame and guilt go hand in hand, from dogmatic conditioning. Through fear of failure or making a mistake, many overcompensate by finding what is wrong and blaming the outer world. In having to be right a judgement frame of reference is created, inhibiting true freedom.
Holding onto shame, blame and guilt will not lend to transformation.
Many think one perspective and way of being is better than another. This is a lack of empathy for the whole picture. Look at our world, and the many levels this is played out on, from the micro units of family, to the macro of countries and religions.
Having to be right is tied into our competitive drive for success, it can become disempowering because one is right and one is wrong, equating to a feeling of failing.

Am I right? ūüėČ

Fear of failure boils down to not wanting to look bad by peer/work/social/family group. Looking bad means making a mistake, being wrong, not feeling accepted for one’s choices, estrangement, rejection, or the root….

Not feeling loved.

Caring what others think is a natural and biological part of being human. It’s a genetic pattern to protect us from being alone, to cooperate in group, healthy to a certain extent. When too much emphasis is placed on caring what others think, the inner world and self confidence can be squelched.
When we expect ourselves, our lives and others to meet expectations and they’re not, the result can be a myriad of negative emotions ie. disappointment, anger, sadness, fear, alienation, etc..

Take disappointment and become empowered. Shift anger into motivation. Take shame and guilt and turn it into objective observation of self.

“OK, I see this, and I wish for something different…..”
Intend it into existence.

Acceptance first has to start within.
Trust and let go of any guilt or shame that you are doing something incorrectly. For you are absolutely perfect right now, in this moment, exactly what is meant to be.


It takes 21 days to change a pattern.

I have seen many of my own patterns surface lately, parts of me that are not always what I like, nor desire. I view these patterns as something to learn through. Life is a choice, to be a victim to self and circumstances, or re-create the shift that is needed. Re-patterning is a part of my self-actualization.

Gathering my energies, I will sit in meditation twice a day. I feel what I wish to shift, appreciate, and surrender any negative thought and emotional pattern surrounding it.

This is a conscious monitoring of everything I think, speak and feel. With effort and patience, I hold my vision firmly, positively, and feel good about life. Not allowing myself to be distracted by what is not working, instead loving what is. Affirmations lend to this, I come up with them as I go along, usually the opposite of what I don’t want.

This is a game I am creating to see what will happen after 21 days. If you wish you can do your own re-patterning with me from home. See what comes up for you, what you wish, visualize and feel it into your life.
You can share if you’d like.




Sacred Sexuality

“In our language we call women’s power over men Shakti. If Shakti disappears, the creative force in society is inhibited, the men lose their virility and become mechanical in their habits” Rabindranath Tagore, Indian mystic ~ He believed that the relation between the sexes in India under patriarchal religion was so distorted that the Shakti power could not function”- Excerpt from the Great Cosmic Mother.

Creation takes form in the throes of sexual union; the most powerful force that we as humans can undertake with another. A process that becomes like a fire, igniting infinite possibilities. The essence of humanity is formed in the embers of these fires, a flame that is creation, found within each and every one of us.

It is a drive for life.

Sexual union is one of the highest expressions we can give to another. It is a beautiful and intimate source of letting oneself go; mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. A source so great that when built properly can become ultimate glory.

When one finds sacred sexuality within true love, it can become a gorgeous process, powerfully intertwining sexual energies, while the relationship evolves in other forms. Allowing each partner to become each other’s sexual dream; while understanding feelings and needs.

The Lovers

As highly evolved as our brains are, we are still mammals. It is a primal and instinctual need to find a mate, be touched and have intimacy. We can view this as evolution at its finest, merging our higher and lower brain functions of emotions and cognitive thinking with our primal mammalian drives. We are pleasure deriving beings, which can be a happy, loving experience, or the opposite. Through balancing the pleasure and pain with consciously evolving and transforming, we make progress as a race.

The idea that sex is only a physical process is preposterous. When connecting sexually, each partner takes on the other’s karma. In shamanic teachings it states that a woman, as the holder (womb), contains a man’s energy for 6 months to a year, a man holds a woman’s energy for less, 3 to 6 months.

Sacred sexuality can be found in texts worldwide from Western and Eastern mysticism and practices. In Tantra, which translates as mind-blowing/expanding in English, sexual union is viewed as a building of energies, leading to Kundalini awakening and higher divinity through orgasm. If that great rising, libidinal force comes up and through during union, it has the power to transform both people. When awakened, this force can lead to enlightened states of existence. The awakening of Kundalini can be a harsh process of metamorphosis, once awakened it works through as a life force of its own.
Sexual union is one of the most divinely powerful forces we are gifted to create and manifest from. Reverence for sacred sexuality becomes a state of surrendering.

Sexuality is a beautiful power that’s been brainwashed to be taboo, or lessened as just a physical expression.

Before the patriarchy Hindu caste system came into place in India, there was reverence for the woman and in Tantra she was revered as the vessel for great sexual power coming through. I don’t think this is relegated to just females having that power, it represents the power of what can come through orgasm and the connecting of the chakras together in sexual union with a partner. A sensual and physical rush and place that is pure bliss when reached.


How do you feel about sexuality?



More related links:

The Great Cosmic Mother

Tantra Kundalini

Sacred Sexuality

Kundalini Yoga

Occupy Chicago

Fighting for our freedom, America was founded upon the ideals that every person could become wealthy and make a decent living. Creating something from nothing, millions of our ancestors left everything on their last vestige of hope and traveled to this country for the renowned American Dream.

That dream has become extremely convoluted in the corporate dynamics of gain and greed that make up our current economic and political system.

Sign on Building reads TOPPLE THE PYRAMID

With the imbalance of wealth in our country, the middle class is falling away, comparable to a third world.
People are slaving away to make ends meet, with the mindset that hard work is the greatest virtue of our establishment.
Where is it getting anyone any longer?
With inflation rising, people are losing their homes, jobs and everything they have known. Their attempts to build their “American Dream” have dissipated in our failing economy.

Why in such a recession are major banks making higher profits?

Thousands were gathered yesterday to march through the streets of Downtown Chicago. The destination was a Mortgage Broker’s party that was happening.
Occupy Chicago has occurred daily for a week and a half. As a sister to Occupy Wall Street, it started with 15 people, gaining momentum, there were thousands in attendance.

People of all ages and races were gathered, representing the 99%.
Echoing through the streets
“People over profits.”
“The banks were bailed out, the people were sold out.”
“We are the 99%” was heard.

This country was founded upon the voice and strength of the middle class.

A question that I continually ask is, how can we choose what we are inherently born into?

We can’t

How many of us desire wealth, and how many attain that 1 percentile?

Our system is erroneously flawed. People are given a head start miles in front of another based on class, money and status. As our population rises, the bottom will keep growing, while the wealthy buy their way into the dwindling top.
The upper echelons of society are bred from a young age, given the best opportunities, attending the most prestigious schools and academies.
A topic I will elaborate upon in much more detail further on.

Where does happiness fit in with our worldly system?

Why are we lead to believe satisfaction is contained in accumulation of materials, titles, promotions, and money?

Hope has gone out the window for so many Americans in a competition that is leaving people empty and forsaken.
So many are unhappy in our society, including the uber wealthy.

To the politicians, corporations and system I ask:

Why is there such blatant selfishness masquerading as care for our people?

A friend and I spoke with the police officers as they were surrounding everyone. We expressed to them, we love you, thank you, you are a part of the 99% with us.
They started smiling as they were forcing us all off the streets, it made me feel a bit like a sheeple, at least we got them to smile ; )

I spoke with a local news reporter, asking her why the occupations have taken so long to be broadcasted, while something like the Casey Anthony story is blasted on National News?

Are the corporations behind what is spun much more than we think?

This will catch wind of being a movement for all the people and will be unstoppable.

She pondered a moment, smiled and told me that was an extremely valid point. Then added
“Unlike national news, the local news does it’s best to catch wind of what is truly happening, in an unbiased way.”

A summary of the General Assembly’s statement:
The Occupation is not in line with any political party. Far beyond that, it is about being human with the people of the world uniting. It is our world, our time to take it back for all of us.
There was a declaration that was read, taken from Occupy Wall Street. It addressed the economic imbalances and inequalities of our corporate and political system.

Here is a copy of the Wall Street version, there were some additions for Occupy Chicago.

At the end there was a chance for everyone in attendance to come up and speak their truth. It was stated that this is about the people, spreading to cities worldwide.

I left before it was finished, with a feeling of hope.
This is a pivotal time in the history of Humanity, a time when we can all come together to create a real change for the future of our race. I am happy to be a part of this.

With love,

the revolution has begun.



Beauty Secrets

Here I’m giving home remedies for cultivating natural beauty from outside in. As we all know, beauty radiates and starts from within. Buffing and shining the outer, so your inner light can sparkle even brighter.

I prefer to have an au natural glow and have found some fun ingredients to play around with. Below are some of my favorite natural beauty treatments; be forewarned anti-aging may occur with use.


FYI: Sodium Laureth Sulfates and Parabens are not good for the body and should be avoided at all costs.
Natural shampoos with a pinch of Borax (12 mule team) works wonders to boost body, health and shine.

While I was in the Panamanian islands healthy conditioners were unavailable. Unknowing what to do about my hair I improvised by cutting an avocado in half and after shampooing slathered on my hair for 5 minutes.
Afterwards, my hair was extremely silky and shiny and bouncy.

To do: Cut open an overly ripe Avocado before showering. After shampooing slather on hair completely covering roots to ends. Leave on for 5 minutes or longer, you can even sleep with it on in a hair bag.
It helps moisturize, replenish and soften hair into a silky state.

Biotin (2-5 mgs) taken once a day and B vitamins helps hair grow quickly, fuller and healthy.

Natural Skin:

Natural face wash: I like to use baking soda or borax with a bit of water as a face wash. Or a natural soap with oatmeal or chamomile for sensitive skin.

Raw Apple Cider Vinegar: An amazing astringent, after the initial sting and redness cools down, skin is left healthy and glowing, with diminished breakouts.

OILS:  Oils are great moisturizers and healing for the skin.
Each oil carries a different property and will work according to skin type. My personal favorite is Coconut oil. Vitamin E and Wheatgerm help with scarring.
Olive Oil is anti-aging, mixed with Citronella oil, a great bug repellant.

Cocoa and Shea butters: Extremely moisturizing. Cocoa butter helps with stretch marks and scarring. Shea butter improves skin tone. Oils and butters can be mixed together as concoctions based on skin type and structure.

Exfoliators and Masks:

For fresh, supple and healthy skin.

Honey and sea salt: A mixture that exfoliates by sloughing off dry skin while the honey acts as an antiseptic.

Body Brush: Exfoliates skin and stimulates the lymphatic drainage system.

Yogurt (organic) mask:
Leave on for 20 minutes or more, it’s soothing to the skin while leaving it moisturized.

Castor Oil mask:
Healing and moisturizing for extremely dry, weathered skin.

Olive/Sunflower oil with sea salt & essential oil:
Natural exfoliator for whole body.

Aloe vera: Heals burns and can be used as a cooling mask.
Blend whole leaf with essential oils such as eucalyptus or mint and refrigerate.
Hydrates, heals and cools the skin.

Natural tooth paste and whitening:

I suggest toothpaste that is fluoride free. For information on fluoride dangers.
Baking soda and Hydrogen Peroxide work well as a toothpaste, and natural whitener.
A good friend introduced me to an AMAZING whitener; Activated Charcoal.
This can be sprinkled on top of toothpaste and is one of the best whiteners I have ever used.
Be careful when using, it is black powder and stains sink easily.

Bath Time

Luxurious and soothing, I create bath concoctions based on my mood.

Sea salt and Baking Soda (mineralizing)
Borax or Epsom salt (detoxing)
Lavender oil and sea salt (relax and cleanse)
Eucalyptus and sea salt(soothe and cleanse)
rose petals/ rose buds (feeling flowery)
The concoctions are endless, be creative and make one based on your mood.

Create your own pampering day:

Pick a day of the year that resonates with you. On this particular day take time to pamper yourself byindulging in your every wish and desire.
Celebrate who you are and all of your unique, amazing qualities. Write a list of your favorite things about yourself, or shop for favorite beauty items.
Dress up or down, sing in the shower,dance in sexy underwear.
Eat foods that make you feel sensual, dress in clothes that make you feel beautiful.
Do whatever your heart and beauty call you to do on this day of yours. Allow you to enjoy and celebrate feeling gorgeous in your skin.

Own the Goddess within
Like Aphrodite coming out of the sea-foam, a “goddess bath” is a sensual way to celebrate your day. Fill a bath up and sink into it as a reminder of your unique light, awakening you to your splendor.



Ayahuasca’s Seed

Ayahuasca found me, easily.

I knew that the best way to undertake this ceremony would be to go into the jungle, yet that was not to be along this journey.
My inner guidance told me.

“You will come back to the jungle, Nicole.”

Eating lightly the day before and refraining from anything such as caffeine, sugar, condiments or what the medicine does not like, I aptly prepared myself.

I asked the medicine the night before in meditation

“Show me what I need to see in order to more fully live my purpose, which I know to be illuminating myself, others and healing this earth.”

With a friend I had met, I will call him Pato, who was taking part in San Pedro, we departed with the shaman, for our ceremony.

Arriving in this young shaman’s house with his wife, there were animal skins and masks hanging on the walls.

With Pato translating,
“You are so young” we spoke to him.

He replied
“Its better to have a young shaman, sometimes the older ones have taken on many negative energies. There are so many false shamans here for the tourists, who do not understand the medicine. My family is from the jungle, the knowledge of the medicine been passed down our lineage within my tribe for generations.”
He continued
“Most of what you will see, will be an internal journey, this medicine is not so much about the shaman, as it is about your inward learning.”

Ayahuasca Vine and San Pedro Cactus

I drank a small amount of the dark, syrupy, bitter liquid, gagging a bit as it went down.



Awakening itself within me, the medicine was feeling warm and tingly.

Ceremony Tools

The shaman spoke to me,
“We believe this medicine pulls up everything no longer needed in your body; physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally
As it pulls it up, you will become sick,
throw it up.”
As he was speaking this, I could feel a churning in my stomach.
Vomiting is an essential part of this, I felt better immediately.

After he and his wife cleared us with sounds, feathers and tools, he lit a fire in the middle of the room, with the sacred, purifying Palo Santo wood.
He told us to stand and individually jump over this fire 7 times for purification.

The fire was growing and I jumped 7 times, in my altered state, fire licking up to my thighs, I wondered if it was going to eat me alive.

Afterwards I sat with him and he handed me something.

“Young shaman, I am giving you this sacred seed from the jungle, this is given to shaman initiates, you will not find this seed anywhere else in the world.
When you are ready, come to the amazon to study the plant medicine and Shamanism”

Starting the development of my healing abilities years ago, a new initiation was placed in front of me, one that when cultivated will grow into a beautiful tree of being. This is not something that can be learned in a classrom setting, this is intrinsic abilities continuing their evolution.

He spoke to me
“Wear this seed and it will keep you balanced, for you are a karma eater”
I have known this to be true since since I was younger, being empathic, I take on energies from others and release them.

Sitting eyes closed with my seed, the medicine started speaking to me…

“Don’t settle for anything less than what you have come into, my dear.
You have overcome many obstacles in your life, including yourself, and if that is not respected and honored by those surrounding you, surround yourself with only those that do. Give love and focus on you many types of friends, communities, families and loved ones for they will always support you.

Don’t be surprised if people and ideas that are no longer encouraging and supporting your highest purpose fall out of your life, it is no longer for you on your path.

No one but you knows how to achieve your truth, how to live your life, everyone else’s ideas are part of their reality. Create from your knowing, that my dear is true self-sovereignty.

You may play out patterns of who you are no longer, hold fast to the visions you have been given and create from the knowing of your greater purpose. This seed you have been gifted represents your transformation, plant it within your heart, mind and spirit to grow from powerfully.

Push through what ANYONE thinks of you and be unstoppable in your purpose, no need to justify to anyone, be your own resolve .
Share yourself more and strip away all the layers that are blocking you from seeing, it is only you who have been blinded to your true being.

Move forward, even when you want to give up, the challenges are what refine your character, be that center of strength, against all conformity.
Do what you know to be right, against any conditioned mindset.

Know that your are a bright light, even if its not always seen, right and wrong are irrelevant, perception is everything.
Move through the toughest obstacles,
for you will achieve your highest dream,

which is part of the collective dream.”




Ayahuasca’s Femininity

Ayahuasca’s Femininity

You came beckoning to me in my dreams, I could feel your pull to come sip amongst your knowledge yet again.
Speaking in your powerful way, you said to me….

“Come find me, I will lead you to where you need to be, the right Shaman you will be guided to as I transform you.
Purifying you mind and spirit, I am a tool, one when used with the right intention will propel you forward.
Speak to me before you take part, everything will be drawn to you, if it is found easily it is meant to be”

Ayahuasca, a drink that is made from the vines of the amazon, powerful plant medicine, that shifts one into new dimensions within self. It is more feminine in nature and relates to the earth goddess. The traditions of this ceremony date back centuries, usually facilitated by a shaman. One drinks this as an undertaking that comes with reverence for the power of the medicine.

This is an absolute surrendering to whatever the medicine wishes to impart in one’s being, pulling up negativity and shadows to be viewed, and purged.
There can be deaths of self, and viewings beyond what the conscious mind can grasp, understanding of what lies underneath all the eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
mind chatter.



I heard whispered in my ear,

Peru is where you will find me.

The energies of these ancient lands were calling me

Come to me, come to me.

I set the intention, the power of the mind being my one true religion. The visions I could taste and smell. These visions carried with them a weight beyond proportions of what I was grasping.

In them,

untethered by conditions and patterns of my world and society, even more sovereign in myself

I spoke back to her

Show me how to get to you…..

I will begin with the end, back to the feminine.
Callpa, a person, also representing
a circle, starting and ending in the same place.
a cycle complete
Death = Transformation

Within the being feminine the masculine action is born.
Action comes from being, being causes action.

My last and final resolve, owning my body and femininity.

Excursions of action and asserting my masculine, death of self experiences, with elements harsh, I am still processing the teachings.


Testing ever ounce and fiber of my being with
not giving up or in,
no matter what I am faced with.


A softness occurs.
In this softness a nurturance of what I have undertaken.

A vacation away from an excursion,
back now in Bocas, circling, this time with renewed purpose, in that
I am

who I am

With a superb teacher for this.

My aunts have been amazing forces in my life, guiding me with their knowledge, passion and strength.
I am being guided yet again, for the final teaching along this journey, by Laura, owner of Bocas Yoga. An independent, graceful, confident woman, she has become a soul-aunt, I am blissfully inspired. Staying in the guest room attached to the studio, a dream- space is giving rise to the cultivation of what I have acquired.
cozy room

Laura is Anusara Yoga inspired, living Shri,
universal principles of seeing beauty first.

I came here after mention of a photo shoot.
That photo shoot turned into an uncloaking of beauty so as to learn to share myself with the world.
Cultivating my beauty with grace and no longer giving a fuck what anybody thinks.

Fully owning, integrating and being proud of who I’ve become

“Shine your beauty out” I heard in one of the amazing yoga classes

How overly critical I can be of myself at times, expecting a perfection that is hard to meet, an over-worn, conditioned belief that my beauty and sexiness can only be had if I am over five foot three, a super-model or slutty.

After what I have faced and created, it is time to get rid of that bs and implement me, and MY BEAUTY into my being.
Re-patterning reservations from a brainwashed and objectified society.

I don’t need to be a c cup to feel beautiful. ¬†Although it feels fun to have ūüėČ
I don’t need to dress in Prada to know I am beautiful.
I don’t need to wear makeup everywhere to look beautiful.

My beauty isn’t what I look like, how I dress, what I drive, where I am or with who, those are all extensions of what is within.
My beauty cannot be found outside of myself, it is an inward state emanating out, it’s my light and my ability to radiate to all who are in my presence.
True beauty is the ability to love myself, own myself and be confident in how I represent myself to the world.
Trying to look perfect is a state of insecurity, my imperfections give rise to the greatest beauty of all


Extraordinary idiosyncrasies that are mine to claim.

It’s about intention, if I think I am beautiful, and radiate that with grace and action, to me that is truly living my beauty.

New-found Beauty has come with action, the action of integrity in

purpose and




to be continued…..

Own The Goddess Within

After witnessing some hackling here in Panama City while I was walking down the street. I was feeling rather uncomfortable with the ways I was being whistled and hollered at. I remembered how prevalent prostitution was here, and how little respect women are given. It brought up some pondering around the idea of respect and boundaries and self-love.

There was once upon a time, a long, long time ago, when us women supported one another.¬†Perhaps it’s time to unite and become the community of support that is needed from each other and our male counterparts.¬†We are all products of a world that undermines the power of sexuality and the inner awareness and realms, especially being females.¬†Grace and honor have become a lost art in the feminine form, especially our society. What is looked up to, portrayed through the media and our conditioning are cardboard cutouts masking as beautiful or sexy. Sexiness and beauty are far more than superficial looks. From the media and religions to popular opinion, we are given diametrically opposite views, neither of them healthy.¬†No wonder we are so confused.

What would it look like to step back into that and honor the sacred feminine?
Relationships with one another transformed into nurturing, encouraging and supportive spaces.¬†Through understanding that we are the backbone of our world, therefore it’s up to us to make that backbone strong, having integrity with how we treat ourselves and one another.


Being in our essence is our most beautiful expression. Unlike what we are lead to believe, it is not only a surface experience. When the inner is polished the light and beauty will naturally exude.

It’s important for us to set boundaries for self and stop being martyrs for inner happiness, sacrificing in the name of others. We worry and wonder why we can’t make our men happy.¬†Guys are¬†looking for love and appreciation as are we. It’s just a different manner than ours. No need to worry, just be and let your radiance, mind and inner light speak for you. Give love without the aim to please and concede, allow it to be from the deep self love that shines from within, relinquishing the martyrdom and cost of oneself. Naturally your life and people around you will be happy to see you shining, and if they don’t they’re not worthy to be in your close circle.

If you don’t fully love yourself, step away from a relationship until you do. Become strong in your resolve, find out what makes you happy, what makes you tick, independently become the power source for yourself.

Pitch all behavior that demeans you.
If the person you are with is not honoring, appreciating or allowing your powerful presence to shine forth,
Then dump him (or her), you deserve better.

If your actions are those that would hurt another and you have to hide it, is it really something that should be done?

Is it worth it?

Who cares about the stuff and fluff if you aren’t being treated right?

Who cares about the talk and dreams if you aren’t being loved properly?

If there are friends who don’t respect you, don’t encourage your highest, don’t promote your growth, don’t have your back, perhaps get jealous and retaliate are they truly friends?


Take a stand in your life for what you deserve.

And if no one has ever told you this, I will.

You are beautiful, you are amazing, you deserve nothing but the most exquisite in life. You can do anything you put your mind to, it is within you to be the most radiant you can be.

Speak your truth, be present to yourself and emanate your radiance.
Allow yourself to be treated like the Goddess you are, uphold yourself with grace, honor and respect, knowing that you deserve nothing less.

When we we have integrity with who we are, how we treat ourselves and one another,  upholding standards of how we deserve to be treated in relationships, we will set new standards that will be met by our guys.
We are the yin to their yang, once we make the shift, they will naturally evolve along with us.


I will post shortly about my amazing adventures here in Panama City.


Own the King Within

Men and boys,

I’d like to let you in on some secrets…..

Us girls or women, we are simpler than you think.
Trust me.
It may seem that we are complicated. Yet, that is only the exterior to a depth and power that resides in each of us.
All we truly need is a proper environment in order to flourish into our greatest potential.

The you that we love is the vulnerable space of connecting deeply and allowing us to feel safe. This allows us to have a space in order to let go within.


I know that your status may seem impressive, we may seem like we want the money, the cars, the house.

Those are side notes to what we really want.

We want you to be a lover, companion, staple, one that we can trust through thick and thin.

One who will be there for us, be honest, respect and honor us.

No matter what.

So, along the spectrum, there are two ways you can be with us.

A supportive, encouraging, loving space where we can grow into our finest and most beautiful, a space that we feel comfortable to surrender into, you being our counterpart and balance.

Building us up.

Or you can view us as a pain in the ass, piece of ass, crazy, stupid, bitchy and we will be nothing more than that.

Breaking us down….

Men, there is an element of dominance that you can sometimes display, which over time becomes controlling your woman, not wanting her to be attractive to other men, keeping her caged in. That diminishes our inner happiness.
Criticize, condemn and control us and guess what will happen? Like a beautiful caged bird we will lose our luster, beauty and ability to soar.

It breaks our spirit.

You see that when you control or are mean to us, it’s only your fear and insecurity shining through to us. And we know that.

We are the backbone to the world, and within societies around the planet we are viewed in a demeaning, diminutive or degraded way. Ways that keep our true natures enclosed behind these worldly mindsets.

We are not these cardboard cutouts you see in the media, no, rather we are

Much more

Let go of your ideas of what you think a woman is instead allow each of us individually show you the amazing creatures we are.

And love us through it.

Let us be whatever comes through,

And love us through it.

Be a place we can let go into, so we can learn to trust you. Show us how you want us for more than the surface, for more than the physical.
Show us integrity and honor in your approach to us.

We want to surrender to you into a space of what will support us on all levels.

We want to give you our hearts and sometimes self protect waiting for you to hurt us.

To be honest, there is much hurt between us sexes, whether or not we acknowledge it.
We are in a vicious cycle with one another, one of domination, control, mis-trust, anger and fear.

It has been going for thousands of years.

Drop the swords boys and girls, time to become men and women.
We are all wounded in some manner, let’s love each other through our wounds and learn how to recreate our roles into ones of reciprocal love, support and encouragement.

How can we shift that together and learn to really be able to trust that we have the best intentions for one another?

We women understand, in order for you to grow into your fullest man-potential,
you need love, support and encouragement.

Perhaps we don’t give it to you the way you need it.
Instead we come off as nagging, complaining, bitchy or demanding
I understand.

Underneath that, we are loving and considerate, we care about you and your needs. Please remember that.

We also have to feel good about ourselves in order to properly give you the best love. That takes making us feel good about ourselves, talking to and treating us as though we are spectacular, amazing.

Proper communication is so important. Listening to us and our rants can sometimes be the answer to our issues, we know that you like to solve our problems but sometimes we just really need you to listen.

Show us, tell us, inform us how to be our best for you and we will do the same.

Let go of assuming to know



what we think
how we feel
what we want
what pleases us (yes sexually too ; )

we are not all the same, in our individuality is where our true beauty lies.

While a comfortable life is great, what is it without proper love?

It’s about love, love, love.

You are so very loved.

Treat us like Goddesses, in return we will treat you as the Kings you are.